Three Fates Fiber

Whatever comes to my twisted little mind..mostly family, life, and crafting…

Life is getting buzzzay!

on October 13, 2011

So just when I think my life is hectic, it seems to increase in hecticity {no idea if thats a word, but it should be…(-;}  So now both my kids are in hockey, so 4-5 times a week are spent at the rink, plus I’ve agreed to co-vp BEISA (Bonny Eagle ice Skating Association) middle school section.  So now I, who’s never done anything like it before, is doing board meetings.  AMAZING!  I volunteer at a few of our schools libraries, and I try and find time to work in my studio, which doesn’t happen as often as I’d like.  No I don’t work outside the home, But I definately work within the home…  My husband and I  take brazilian jiu jitsu together (we try 3x a week and are lucky if we get 1-2..), it’s great for us..   It’s something that we can do together, and just be together, and it isn’t hockey.. 

Naw as much as I may sound like I’m whining, I’m not.  I love my life with all it’s ups and downs, all of it’s meeting myself at the door.  I don’t think I’d ever change it, because it IS so fleeting, I learned that with my first child, my wonderful Sage…  I would get upset because I had to take her here there and everywhere.  And than she was old enough to do it herself, and I lost that connection to her, granted there are other connections but there never the same.. Sometimes there better but sometimes, you just want that other connection back.  Now she’s an adult living on her own, and no longer MY responsability, and some days thats HARD to swallow.   So as much as everyone says “It’s the family sit down dinners thats important” I personally learn more about my son on the drive to hockey at 4 am than at any other time, because it’s just US.  Those drives to there practices are some of my BEST times with them because they talk to me about anything and everything, and I can listen and HEAR what is said.  And that is why I no longer resent the running around for my kids. 

But there are the times when I scream and run and hide, usually to my studio.  For a long time I lost my creative flow, about the time I was placed on an antidepressant (effexor).  It was great, I couldn’t care about anything, even my family.  I knew that I loved them, but I couldn’t FEEL it…  How can one be creative if they FEEL nothing???  It’s taken a long time to come back, I’ve been off of any form of drugs for 2-3 yrs now and I’m just FINALLY getting creative again..  But I did have to work on my family again first.. They’d lost me and I them. I missed alot of my kids for a few years in a haze, i just don’t remember.. But I’m no longer depressed, the jiu jitsu helps as well as my volunteering..  gets me around others and social whether I want to be or not. 😉  It took about a year after the effexor for me to feel human again the withdrawals were HORRIBLE.. about 6 mo. of physical withdrawals, I went cold turkey, which my doctor was NOT happy with me for. 

Oh well this entry wasn’t meant for lecturing, whining, or even memory lane, but i guess sometimes the brain leads us to where we need to go.. so I will say enough for now and Have a great day…  I’ll try and update more often.. 😉

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